hey guys. since im so bored now, lemme add to our Ali G overload. here's some exercpts from his inspirational speech to the harvard freshmen.
Ali G Goes Ivy League
2004 Harvard University Commencement Speech
"Booyakasha - Professor G indahouse aiii. Big shout out de Harvard massiv I iz done a capital 'H', coz Harvard iz a place innit - u see I ain't no ignoranus. Things like 'apple' and 'orange' do not start with a capital letter, unless dey iz at de start of a sentence - but some of you brainboxes probably know dat already innit.Me name be Ali G and me represent de UK. For those of u who didn't study geography de UK is a place over a 100 MILES away from here, de capital of it is? Anyone? Not u geography square! ....yes, it is Liverpool. U iz clever and quite fly if u don't mind me sayin.
First of all, I iz got to say I iz a bit nervous speakin to so many of you - at least me would be if I weren't totally mashed. Normally de only public-speaking I does is to 12 people - and it's well easy all me has to say iz me name and de words 'not guilty'.
Anyways I digest. It iz a well big honour to be arksed ere today. To fink dat so many great people has been educated ere like Lyndon Banes Johnson, or as he is better known - JFK, George Clinton was also ere I fink , and de one before him, and also...William Tell - is he one of your lot, probably, and dat bloke wiv de hat, but most importantly dat really fit honey from Star Wars - if u iz out dere, me'd love to - me iz stayin at de Best Western Hotel - me's got a really nice room, altho since dis morning dem has put a parental lock on de tv.
Hearmenow, u iz de most cleverest students in America - some of u iz probably brilliant at counting - ye know...1,2,3...4.... I could continue...easy. Others of u will be brilliant at English - have memorised de whole alphabet 'a to x' and even be able to spell words like 'hippototamus'.
I iz also well clever - me was so brainy dat me finished me education 6 years before any of u - at de age of 15 - de teachers had to admit dat dere was nothing else dat dem could teach me. U students has come from every corner of de US from de rainforests of Arizona to de deserts of Alaska. Some of you iz probably never even seen a black man before.......allo
Relationships should be brought into dis -de 20th centrury - u women out dere shouldn't have to do de cookin and de cleanin when u come home from work - u should do it before u leave in de morning.
But more importantly it's wikid dat in Harvard young women and men gets to learn so many amazing subjects.
Some of u here will have been studying medicine...dat knowledge come wiv a lot of responsibilities. Remember, doctors is some of de most powerfulest people in de world - u can give life, u can cure disease and u can ask to see a woman's [whistle] wivout getting slapped.
Some of u iz de best legal students in de country. U would know wivout even thinking, how to get someone off a charge of possession. And if any of u do, then can me remind u - Room 204 at the Best Western. Just do me a favour put your ear to de door, and don't come in if u hears me shouting 'Natalie, play wiv me light saber'.
You iz de elite, u will be tomorrow's captains of industry. Sittin infront of me is probly da next Bill Gates, Donald Trump...or even Ronald Mcdonald. And even if you can't all be Ronald himself, most of you iz probably McDonald's Team Leader material. By da way, if any of u ever gets to do business wiv Sir Ronald, a word of hadvice - don't mention de size of his feet....him iz well sensitive about it. Me mate Dave hactually met him, and he said dat even tho him may seem like he's always smiling, dere's a sadness in de eyes...coz of dem feet. All de money in de world - and science still can't do nothing. Maybe dat's something dat some of u M.I.T. nerds can fink about innit.
Anyhow, u iz gotta fink bout de problems in de world coz u iz gotta sort dem out innit. Look at da envirolment - global warming is so bad, dey say in 100 years time, all de rainforests will be gone and all de ice caps will have melted. Actually, 100 years time, we ain't gonna be around den, so don't need to worry about dat one.
posted by stoneking @ 3:54 PM
0 comments
